Who tells stories?
Anyone can tell a story in fact, we all do all the time. Think of the last time you sat around a dinner table, or at a holiday gathering. It’s likely that you had a story to tell, maybe it was about the car trouble you had, or the recent purchase you made, or the home improvements you are doing. Family members tell stories for a variety of reason. Parents and grandparents tell stories to reminisce or to pass on family history to other generations. Sisters and brothers can tell stories to share their experiences with one another, often building camaraderie and strengthening family ties. Little children tell stories to gain the attention of busy adults and other family members; after all, everyone loves the spotlight!
In the business world, as a manager or a boss you may have told stories to your team at work about past successes or failures to motivate them to achieve. Co-workers can tell stories to one another to keep them up to date about the work environment and goings on.
Politicians, pastors, preachers, teachers, rabbis, writers, the media, and more! Everyone can tell a story. No group has a monopoly on storytelling. We hear stories in many places in our lives; sometimes we recognize them as stories and sometimes not. When we walk into church and hear a sermon or a parable, we may find it easier to recognize the value of a story. Some stories are straightforward and others can take some time to sink in.
There are so many more places that we hear stories, without even realizing it. As I sit here working on my laptop my television set is on in the background. It is amazing how many stories are told on TV every day, and yet we rarely see this as storytelling. The media tells us stories every day as we watch the news and events of the world.
This was never more true than during and after the tragedy of September 11, 2001. As the tragedy unfolded, our lives were touched over and over again by stories of courage, compassion, and commitment. As we heard the stories of the policemen, firefighters, military servicemen, EMTs, and of the passengers and flight crews, an entire country was mesmerized and moved, often to tears, by their telling. As powerful as the images of major events are, it’s the individual stories of people that have the ability to reach out to the masses grab hold of their hearts.
We see this same type of storytelling over and over again in the media. For example, when we watch the Olympics, as each event unfolds, we are introduced to the life stories of the competitors. They become more than just names and faces. Instead, by seeing and hearing their stories, they become unique individuals that we care about and cheer for.
The same thing happens in fundraising telethons where a disease takes a back seat to the stories of the lives of the people it impacts. Most major fundraising events reach out to audiences hoping to motivate and inspire them to give by telling the stories of individuals touched by the disease, or helped by the organization.
Even fictional TV tells stories that engage us. Think of some of the successful shows we’ve watched over the years, such as “All in the Family”, “Friends”, “ER”, "Desperate Housewives" , "Grays Anatomy" and so many others. Each of these shows told us detailed stories of the characters; unique people who kept our interest. Some of the stories entertained us, some educated us, and they all grabbed our attention.
So as you see, anyone can be a storyteller.
Why Tell Stories?
In general you tell stories to entertain, to explain, to educate or to inspire. When you tell a story, you should have a purpose, a reason to tell it. And in the ideal world, the reason you tell a story, is also the reason people are listening. Of course, we all know that the real and ideal worlds can differ and that people are not always listening for the same reason you are speaking to them.
Sometimes, we find ourselves telling a story to an audience of one, in a conversation. At other times we tell a story at a meeting or in front of a group (business, social, spiritual or other), or even on a stage. In different settings and at different times, we tell stories for different reasons. Regardless of the situation it is always important to know why you are telling a story.
And it's equally important to make sure your audience, however large or small, knows why you have shared the story as well. Never assume that the link or connection between the story and the point you want to make, has been made. Summarize and make sure it's clear.
My First Story
When I was a little girl and I wanted to know where babies came from, I did what every child would do – I asked my mother. She realized that I was either too old or just too skeptical to believe the stork story, the cabbage patch story or most of the other old stand bys, so she told me a different one. This is the story she told me:
When your father and I were married for a while, we decided we wanted to start a family, so we went to the hospital where they have all the babies. We went to the window and looked at all the babies they had and there was your brother Dan. He looked at us and “Take me, take me, I’ll eat! I’ll eat”. So we decided to take him home, and he was a very good eater. After a while we decided to get him a sister, so we went back to the hospital, and looked at all the babies again, and there was your sister Martha who called out “Take me, take me I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” So we took her home and she was a very good baby. Finally we decided we wanted one more baby, so we went back to the hospital one last time to look at all the babies. There you were and you called out “Take me, take me, I’ll talk! I’ll talk!” So we took you home and you haven’t stopped talking since!
That was the first story I remember hearing as a child that was told to me rather than being read to me. It made quite an impression! I was convinced that since I was a chatterbox and hadn’t stopped talking, I was upholding my part of the bargain and making my parents quite happy. Little did I realize that what a prophetic story it was until as an adult, I became a professional speaker.
Interestingly, I remember that story vividly for a couple of reasons. First, it was an explanation of something I did not understand. Stories have been used to explain things for centuries. Fairly tales and parables have been told over and over to help children and adults to understand concepts and lessons. Everyone can use stories to help people understand things. Whether you are a teacher or a parent who works with children, or an adult who works with other adults, stories are a tool you can use to help people understand things.
Second, I recall the story because it reinforced a belief I had; that my sister was the “good one”. Talk about growing up with a self-esteem issue huh?Over the years, I spoke with my mother about the babies story, and she insists that the description of Martha was not “I’ll be good”, but “I’ll sleep”. It’s quite probable that my mother’s memory is correct, and that over the years I changed the story, or my telling of it, to fit my beliefs about my sister being "the good one". This is important because it is something we all do. Our perception of reality, our lifestyles, and our beliefs all impact the stories we tell and how we tell them. As your perceptions change, stories or the way you tell them may also change. Stay aware of this.
Stories can mold us, or perhaps at time we can mold ourselves to what we hear in a story. Who is to say whether I talked so much that I naturally became a speaker, or I become a speaker because I believed it was what I was supposed to do based on my memory of a childhood story. At times, the stories we hear and the stories we tell mirror, and even influence our lives.
I hope you can use the stories you find on this site in some way, but remember that if the story you "need" isn't here, take a look at your own life. Your experiences have probably given you the perfect story... you just may not have realized it yet.
